I’m glad I am not raising an apathetic, vegetable of a kid.
Nope. My Jax is assertive about what he wants and isn’t afraid to entertain
you. He is independent and very vocal. These are great qualities overall, but
they are traits that can lead to confrontation when what HE wants isn’t what I
want to give him.
Take for instance, naptime on the weekends. I want him to take a nap. In fact, I often need him to take a nap. And despite what he would lead us to
believe, he needs one too. His body
needs the rest. But over the last few weeks he has been a lot more stubborn
about the need to take a nap. He has fought it more and more. While it’s true
that in so many ways Jax often seems ahead of the curve, I can’t believe that
he is so far ahead of the curve that he is no longer in need of a nap. He’s not
even 3 yet. I refuse to believe that.
Truth be told, he has been doing this to an extent since he
gave up his morning nap and switched to 1 nap a day. Ideally this one nap would
be a “longer” one (I know some kids who take 3+ hour-naps), but on weekends, we
are lucky to get an hour out of the little monkey, much less 2. It’s like he is
so worried he is going to miss out on something, so he fights it. And while I
understand not wanting to miss something, it is very frustrating to be the one
dealing with the repercussions of a no-nap-taking-toddler…especially one who
has proven himself to be assertive, independent, and quite vocal. Take this
“fight” and add an exhausted Mommy or Daddy and you have a recipe for disaster.
Unfortunately, the stubborn resolve about naps has bled over
into bedtime at night. And that is definitely NOT a good thing. Not good for
Jax. And not good for the sanity of the parents of said toddler. Here’s a taste
of how bedtime went just a couple of days ago:
Bath? Check.
Books? Read.
Snuggles? Snugged.
Toddler? Tucked in and kissed.
Me? Taking a deep breath, and a little “me time” before I
get things ready for the morning. Minutes later, I hear the Jax’s door open and
the padding of toddler feet as he peeks into the office at me. “Mommy, I need
go potty.” Off we go to the restroom. Clean hands, toddler tucked in and
kissed, “Night-Night. Sweet dreams,” I say. Back to the office I go to continue
my much-needed “me time”.
Again, minutes later, I hear the Jax’s door. Here he comes
into the office. “Mommy, I need go potty.” Off we go to the restroom. Again.
This time I tell him he shouldn’t need to go again (this being the 4th
time since bath…). “Ok, Mommy,” Jax says. Clean hands, toddler tucked in and
kissed, “Night-Night. Sweet dreams,” I say. Back to the office I go to continue
my “me time”—that I haven’t really even gotten to start, mind you. But do I get
to start it? No. No, I don’t. I can’t even count
how many times Jax got out of bed, ostensibly to “potty”. Sometimes he
asked for water. Sometimes he asked for snuggles. Sometimes he asked for food.
But he kept leaving his room. A great part of this ordeal was filled with
crying and screaming from my little guy. I was beyond frustrated.
I tried a variety of things, but none of them seemed to
work.
I ignored him. He would just stand at the office door crying
at me.
I told him to go potty and tuck himself back into bed.
I guided him back to his room without eye contact or words,
with him screaming and crying the entire time.
A few times I physically picked him up and put him in the
bed.
But, nothing seemed to work.
Like I said…I was beyond frustrated. Jax ended up crying
himself to sleep, which hasn’t happened in a long time. I ended up drinking a
beer….and debated putting a lock on Jax’s door.
After much thought, reading, and discussions with Daddy and
a friend at work, I decided something would need to be done. As much as a lock
sounded like a potentially good thing, it also sounded like a potentially bad
thing. And you can’t put a shock collar or your little one to keep them from
crossing the boundaries of their rooms…I mean, you can’t, can you? No, of
course you can’t.
So, we decided to have Jax help create some rules for sleep
time. And he helped decide on a reward for following those rules. I’m not sure
how it is all going to turn out in the end. Night 1 was a success. It
could just be a fluke. I don’t know. But we’re gonna give it a go and see what
happens.
