toddler or 8th grader?

i have come to a realization: toddler boys are just like 8th grade boys. or maybe it's the other way around. seriously. don’t buy it? you be the judge. i now present the evidence:

• Jaxon "runs" everywhere he goes, often yelling as he does so. then, he trips over his own two feet and falls to the ground. it’s kind of funny…and really cute.
• i often see the 8th grade boys in the hallway running, running, running everywhere they go. it's their main mode of transportation. yelling at each other down the hall…and yes, frequently, they stumble as they go along. but it’s just not cute any more. still kinda funny though. maybe they're still learning to walk? maybe their feet are too big for them?

• Jaxon plays with his spit, making bubbles. he drools and watches it fall to the ground. he thinks it's funny. i think it’s gross.
• i can’t tell you how many times i have seen an 8th grade boy making spit bubbles. they even make them on their tongues and stick out their tongues so they can see the bubbles. they allow strings of drool to pass out of their mouths on the way to the ground before they slurp it back up. and when they don’t move fast enough to slurp it back, they watch it go to the ground or desk. and laugh. it’s so disgusting i have to watch in disbelief, hoping that they’ll feel my repulsion boring through their skulls, willing them to stop their reprehensible behavior. unfortunately, it hasn’t worked yet.

• Jaxon hits people and things, yelling in his husky toddler voice. almost as if to say, “I am man! I will conquer!” this is pretty funny. well, the husky toddler yell is funny. the hitting part isn’t.
• 8th grade boys are loud. and they have to hit EVERYTHING. there’s lots of punching and hand slapping that goes on between 8th grade boys. and lots of slamming of binders or books against heads and shoulders…and walls and lockers. it must be testosterone. right?

• Jaxon pulls on my spaghetti straps and "pops" them...then he laughs.
• ok, so this one i haven’t witnessed too much, but i’m sure it happens. i mean, all of the other pieces of evidence are common in both species, toddler boy and 8th grade boy, so surely this one is too?

is my cute, if slightly obnoxious, toddler boy destined to become a disgusting slob of an 8th grade boy? can it be stopped or is it inevitable? what is the path of least resistance…and most “lovable-ness”?
ahh, the questions of a new mom…